Facing the Unknown – Coping Skills?

crazy eyesOne of the underlying issues for my main character in Ameera Unveiled, is feeling like she is never in control. She resolves to face childhood forbidden zones as she enters an empty-nester zone, but this isn’t always easy. Trying something new is never easy, especially when we haven’t been raised to embrace the unknown.

Some readers have resonated with Ameera’s internalization and self doubts. Others tip their heads and say, “What’s the big deal?”

In that I grew up with many social and gender stigmas as a baby boomer, it is a big deal. As the author, I chose to use a belly dancing class as a catalyst to raise her comfort zone bar. Combined with the instructor who would not take ‘no’ from her students, this produced a lot of internal, wide-eyed panic moments for Ameera.

There are many factors that contribute to how someone handles those What the Fudge moments, when elements of coping skills crop up. Nervous laughter, red faces (or in my world humor) are often what we fall back on in the midst of panic on the inside. I’ve even known acquaintances that have flipped their insecurity by publicly humiliating employees or co-workers. But I wasn’t raised by my Navy parents to exchange teamwork for self confidence. We all fall short on some level sometimes, but hopefully respect and acceptance of each other’s moments are key to maintaining healthy bonds.

087So, as I get comments on Ameera’s journey to bust through her fears and find healthy female bonds– it gives me another challenge to face criticism. I admit to a thin skin but I always have a well oiled funny bone. My sisters and I survived many monkey wrenches throughout our childhood using humor. There are still many “I almost (did) wet my pants moments.”

I admire women that were given the you go girl message growing up… but for me, I’ve had to fight through the clutter to arrive at that message, and I still need the occasional reminder. Hopefully my journey has blazed the glittery trail for others to hear you go girl.

7 thoughts on “Facing the Unknown – Coping Skills?

  1. Humor is definitely key! And hey, no matter how many times we hear, “You Go Girl” it always helps to hear it (and read it) again, from another female point of view. Together, we are STRONGER! Here’s to tribes 🙂

    • Ha-Ha! You are starting to sound like a Southern girl. But, I agree. Here is to strength and tribes. They are the glue for millenniums!

  2. LOVE this post-I am finding out very intriguing reasons (while doing personal and “legit” research) as to why some females come out full of fire and confidence while others have to almost “confidence raise” themselves later! Kinda the Nature vs Nuture or Genes vs Environment debate….Regardless, the best part is that the “you go, girl” attitude can be grafted back on. Women tribes are the best…Loved it.

    • Thanks Laura…. I find my journey as a woman to be full of revelations and challenges to also ‘get over myself.’ Thanks for your feedback.

    • I only knew the tribe of my sisters… then my bellydance troupe… and now book lovers! So happy my trail crossed yours. PS: One of the 5 sisters, is my mom. She’ll love you forever!

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